This year I have decided
Not to give a stuff
About the bits of me that wobble
When I’m standing in the buff;
If I desire some chocolate
Then that’s what I will eat!
And words like ‘over-weight’ and ‘fat’-
I’ll make them obsolete!

You can forget about ‘dry January’;
If I want to drink some wine –
Or a G & T, a pint of beer,
Or EVEN turpentine!
I will not feel any GUILT;
Or obsess on the potential –
Of damage to my liver
When alcohol’s essential!

As for gym memberships –
I can think of better ways
Of getting hot and sweaty
(Once a month’s fine nowadays!)
And I will not succumb
To changing my hairstyle;
I’ve had it since I was
A spotty juvenile!

Nor will I take notice
Of all the latest trends
Or gossip on the Internet
From Twit/Face or from friends…
This year I have decided
To stop any dissolution’s –

SO I WON’T BE MAKING ANY
BLOODY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!

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