For World Refugee Day

For World Refugee Day

Our Planet – with humans now over seven billion;

Fleeing from famine and wars – around sixty-five million –

Statistics for people just like you and I;

So why do most of us turn a blind eye?

We pay lip service to a vision we see on TV

Of crammed boats and crammed lorries

All trying to flee

A place they called ‘home’, that once held their heart,

That weapons and bombs have now torn apart,

By wealthy dictators who don’t give a shit;

Helped by governmental hypocrites –

Who violate all human rights;

Yet still sleep soundly throughout the night…

They sell the arms that fuel the war,

Then spout how much that they deplore

The fact they’re even used at all!

We watch the scenes of devastation

Unfold on nation upon nation;

‘How sad for them!’ we over-hear –

But yet we still don’t want them here…

They come in search of love and warm

With a heart that’s willing to conform –

‘But they’re taking all the benefits!’

‘They’re religious fundamentalists!’

Is the welcome that we give…

All they want is a home;

To provide for their kids;

All they want is a chance to live…




‘Relax’! I’m told
The chair is pumped
And tipped to face the ceiling –
‘Open wide!’ A prod and poke;
An exposed nerve revealing.
I want to thump the dentist hard
My lips begin to quiver;
Saliva starts to multiply –
I’m dribbling a river!

‘You’ll just feel
A prick or two..’
He says as he dispenses,
The poison in my gums and cheek –
The one that numbs your senses…
My bottom lip soon looks as though
I’d loaned it from Mick Jagger,
From the corner of my eye
I spy his sharpened dagger…

Beneath his mask I swear I see
The makings of a smile –
‘Make yourself comfortable
You’ll be here for a while!’
I try to not take notice;
Try hard not to stare
At the close up of his bulbous nose
With mass of nostril hair…

…Or the drill held in his other hand
That’s started excavating…
Or the suction pipe and mirror –
That stops me communicating!
Take deep breaths
I told myself
Like the hypnotist advised –
But I could only hyperventilate;
My face all paralysed…

My tongue was getting in the way –
The water made me gag;
I swear that I would leave this place
In a body bag!
‘Nearly done’ I heard him say;
My jaw was badly aching –
I felt my fisted hands relax
I felt my legs stop quaking…

But the symptoms
I’m afraid to say
Could not be abated –
When the cost of all the work
Had been consolidated!
I could only stare in disbelief
At the total of the bill –
And next time I would show him





I’m not a stalker
I simply adore ya –
Had your pictures all over my wall!
This wasn’t planned
I just bribed the stagehand;
It didn’t take too much at all!
I knew it was love
Sent from above
When you smiled as you sang
‘Twelfth of never’ –
The look in your eye
Said you would comply,
And we’d be together forever…

All I want is your time
And a bottle of wine;
And I’m sure after this you will see –
That we are soul mates
It wasn’t just fate;
You and I were both meant to be!
So I’ll have standing by
A Registrar who
Could marry us
Right then and there!
I’m down on my knees!
While you’ve still got
A full head of hair!



I’m a sucker for a ginger nut
To dunk into me cuppa;
Or Jamaican ginger cake –
A slice or two for supper

An ice-cold ginger beer
Gives me so much pleasure;
And I believe Ed Sheeran
Is a national treasure…

I even like Prince Harry
(I’m really not that fussy…) –
But I just can’t feel the love
For my ginger pussy!

When she sits upon my lap
No matter what I wear,
Will very soon be covered
In an inch of ginger hair…

And she only has to walk past
Or brush against a wall –
And I’m choking on the fluffy air
And spewing a fur-ball!

It seems every time I cook
And everything I taste –
Has a ginger hair or two
Lurking on the plate

When friends come for a meal
We try and make a joke –
When they free their teeth of ginger hair
Before they start to choke

They sit there looking stunned;
Shifting in the chair –
‘At least it’s from a cat!’ We say –
‘It’s not a pubic hair!’

I really don’t have ‘gingerism’-
Love the colour and the taste;
But affection for a ginger cat –
To me is so misplaced…

So don’t get a cat that’s ginger!
Get one that doesn’t shed !
Like one of those weird hairless ones –
Get one of those instead!



I want to be Pam Ayres!
She’s such a funny poet!
Her one-liners are pure brilliance;
I’m funny – I just can’t show it!

She takes a fact of life
And turns it on its head –
She tells a tale – it makes them laugh;
With me they groan instead!

Her intonation is perfection!
The yokel accent bought her fame –
My Black Country tone somehow
Just doesn’t sound the same!

And she really looks after her teeth!
Hers are pearly white!
I try not to smile too much –
It gives the folks a fright!

I want to be Pam Ayres!
Opportunity knocked for her;
She is stinking rich now
And has her own chauffeur!

I have this silly daydream
That some day at ‘spoken word’;
Pam Ayres will be sitting there
And she’ll LOVE what she has heard!

So she’ll ask me to support her
When she’s next on tour,
And from there I’ll start a business –
A poet entrepreneur!

But for now I’ll count my blessings
And won’t make too much fuss
About the fact that I am skint,
And get about by bus!!



History is being made as
The whole world looks on – dismayed;
America’s gone retrograde,
With the worst President EVER!

He may have a degree in economics
But he won’t be practising Reagonomics;
He spends his time just reading comics,
He’s the worst President EVER!

He opens his mouth like the Grand Canyon;
Looks in the mirror and sees a stallion –
Not an old buffoon who wears a medallion,
He’s the worst President EVER!

He thinks women are ‘A Piece of Ass’
To be treated like they’re second class;
He’s a misogynistic – jackass!
The worst President EVER!

He won’t disavow the Klu Klux Klan –
Hates everyone that reads the Quran;
But that doesn’t make him a racist man…
Just the worst President EVER!

Homosexual’s a word that he abhors;
He thinks all gays should stay indoors,
And a cure can be sold in all drugstores,
He’s the worst President EVER!

He’s building a wall around Mexico;
His new best friend lives in Moscow;
And American folk will have to kow-tow
To the worst President EVER!

So people of the USA
On this inauguration day
Behold Trump in his bad toupee –



I pulled the covers tighter
So I was almost suffocating;
I tried to regulate my breath,
I could hear my heart pulsating –
Like it would leap out of my chest;
Or stop itself from beating;
I clenched my sweaty palms –
Body over-heating.

Dare I brave the dark,
Remove the bed clothes from my face?
Peek with one eye closed
As a precaution – just in case?
Or should I bide my time
And wait until the morning?
Or jump up screaming loudly;
Scare the monster with no warning?

In the silence I could hear
A scratching on the wall;
A muffled kind of howling
As the thing began to crawl –
And I pulled the covers tight again,
And prayed with all my might,
That this night would soon be over –
I’d be safe until daylight…

Closer; closer, I could feel it;
I could smell it’s rancid breath –
It’s weight was pressing down on me,
I’d soon be facing death;
And then my door flung open,
And the light poured in my room
The rancid breath replaced
By the smell of Mum’s perfume

Then she suddenly exclaimed
“Oh goodness what was that?”
And with great relief I heard
“Oh – it’s only next door’s cat!”